so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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