Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
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If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
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You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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