I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
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He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
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I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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