i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize