unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
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I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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