i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The power of my boobs compel you
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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