Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize