You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize