Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
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