I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize