He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
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No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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