Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize