carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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