Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
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Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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