Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
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I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
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He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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