of course. lets lasso hookers.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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