I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize