oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Pooping to opera.
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