Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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