oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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