Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
