I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
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He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
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All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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