Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers. http://tfl.nu/run3
  Replies (19) Good night (5971) Bad night (1707) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life. http://tfl.nu/zrqp
  Replies (41) Good night (4885) Bad night (1071) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"? http://tfl.nu/6zhr
  Replies (34) Good night (2145) Bad night (2943) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long http://tfl.nu/0rd0
  Replies (8) Good night (1007) Bad night (3433) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am http://tfl.nu/0mrv
  Replies (6) Good night (4774) Bad night (739) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..

  (1-502): View more from Kentucky

  Aren't you in 8th grade?

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  9th, but that's not the point.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school.. (1-502): Aren't you in 8th grade? (502): 9th, but that's not the point. http://tfl.nu/te0g
  Replies (104) Good night (5565) Bad night (3610)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her. http://tfl.nu/icjy
  Replies (54) Good night (2478) Bad night (14815) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued. http://tfl.nu/lx8b
  Replies (21) Good night (4778) Bad night (1286) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will. http://tfl.nu/52i2
  Replies (11) Good night (3562) Bad night (989) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs. http://tfl.nu/sez7
  Replies (9) Good night (1036) Bad night (2967) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters. http://tfl.nu/m77a
  Replies (10) Good night (2698) Bad night (548) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (228): He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good" http://tfl.nu/hwu1
  Replies (33) Good night (6560) Bad night (965) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  why would you automatically assume i'm high...

  (240): View more from Maryland

  you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): why would you automatically assume i'm high... (240): you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix. http://tfl.nu/8cui
  Replies (3) Good night (1798) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations." http://tfl.nu/7d4e
  Replies (7) Good night (472) Bad night (859) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING. http://tfl.nu/8crd
  Replies (1) Good night (498) Bad night (194) Order T-Shirt

Randomize