That's when you crack a 10am beer
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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