I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
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