Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Holy shit dude........stairs
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize