just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize