i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize