Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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