apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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