chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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