we're chasing vodka with high fives
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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