I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this just has baby written all over it
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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