I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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