You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize