My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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