Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
My pussy is not your playground.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize