So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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