She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
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And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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