Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize