Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  I think I won the penis lottery.

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  (310): I think I won the penis lottery. http://tfl.nu/0aks
  Replies (33) Good night (5475) Bad night (498) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?

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  (309): is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring? http://tfl.nu/8ib1
  Replies (42) Good night (1276) Bad night (4056) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.

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  (415): There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms. http://tfl.nu/bpq6
  Replies (35) Good night (7467) Bad night (1220) Order T-Shirt
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"

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  (903): I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk" http://tfl.nu/2chc
  Replies (5) Good night (690) Bad night (2143) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.

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  (423): This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are. http://tfl.nu/kzc0
  Replies (8) Good night (2365) Bad night (753) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.

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  (309): they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy. http://tfl.nu/yj0s
  Replies (5) Good night (3906) Bad night (1369)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?

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  (765): We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic? http://tfl.nu/pmld
  Replies (15) Good night (1252) Bad night (2629) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.

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  (203): you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class (1-203): why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday. http://tfl.nu/0z2t
  Replies (4) Good night (3503) Bad night (483)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?

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  (229): Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing? http://tfl.nu/q7mi
  Replies (6) Good night (1892) Bad night (877) Order T-Shirt
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.

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  (252): Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing. http://tfl.nu/p5zs
  Replies (3) Good night (1224) Bad night (450) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up

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  (619): Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up http://tfl.nu/pxnj
  Replies (3) Good night (716) Bad night (382) Order T-Shirt
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  (469): View more from Texas

  So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.

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  (469): So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride. http://tfl.nu/8ytz
  Replies (8) Good night (798) Bad night (288) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.

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  (561): I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution. http://tfl.nu/nib7
  Replies (2) Good night (666) Bad night (198) Order T-Shirt
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.

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  (289): I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward. http://tfl.nu/nn3r
  Replies (4) Good night (290) Bad night (550) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue

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  (303): Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue http://tfl.nu/w6vq
  Replies (3) Good night (244) Bad night (461) Order T-Shirt

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