Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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