is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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