Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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