Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize