I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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