my being single is dangerous.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize