Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize