I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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