just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
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she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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