porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize